It isn’t often that a film with a title akin to I F*cking Hate You could be described as heart warming or touching, but this strong independent by SABI Pictures manages to fit its way into those categories.

Ron (played painfully well by John T. Woods), in a last ditch effort to get across his feelings to the woman he loved/loves, Carol (Marion Kerr, who is delightful in the role), tries to touch her through the medium of song…albeit one of the strangest and yet catchy original tunes I’ve heard in a film in a long while.

The description of the film is a “radical collaboration” between the actors and crew, with improvisation being the key ingredient.  I must admit when I heard this film was an improv heavy independent, I grimaced.  To me that usually translates into “10 minute mess of artistic projectile vomit”.  Little did I know that this film had REALLY talented folks working on it.

First off, not enough can be said about John T. Woods and Marion Kerr.  They prove that with just a concept of scene and character, the lines that are meant to drive the scene will be there, waiting to get plucked out of the air.  The cinematography was likewise intuitive, and Matt Garrett and Addison Brock III deserve a lot of credit for being able to take a project like this and capture it as well as they did, with a sort of odd mix of detachment and intimacy.  All this coming together like it did means Director Zak Forsman, also deserves a hearty pat on the back.  This cast and crew must have run a tight ship to take a daring concept like full improvisational collaboration and turn it into something that wasn’t just watchable, but enjoyable.

If I had any criticism for the project it would have maybe been to get the action started quicker.  With only 10 minutes to work with, there’s almost a full minute it seems of nothing but establishing, and while I understood why it worked for the character of Ron, the few shots of Carol were a little hazy and confusing. 

This is of course a trivial criticism.  The main points to remember when seeing this film (and I recommend people take a good look at this picture) are great humor balancing touching sentiment, a song with “I fucking hate you” as a lyric, and a Zoltar mug as the story’s lynchpin.  It doesn’t get much better than that.

There comes a point in your movie watching career where you just can’t take it anymore, the inane characters, the poor writing, the movie studios pandering to the lowest common denominator and using silence and big jumps as a reason to go to the movies. Halloween, The Shining, Psycho, Alien and Aliens, these are all iconic suspense, thriller, scary movies that will live on for years to come because they broke the mold, they did something different. They created characters, atmosphere, they were written in a smart way for the audience to grasp on to, for them to enjoy.

Unfortunately suspense movies have taken a decidedly different turn as late, they’ve turned into ways for studios to pad the bottom line by dumping $10 million dollars into a film, making the budget back in the first week, shooting to number one (or in the top three) at the Box Office and then dropping off. Case-in-point: The Strangers.

The Strangers, allegedly only based on an experience by first time writer/director (and former gaffer) Bryan Bertino where some stranger came to his front door looking for someone else, then having his neighbor’s homes broken into, is full of everything that’s wrong with today’s “scary” suspense films. It features unlikable 2D characters whose only purpose in this hack production is to die and to make the audience feel smarter.

James (Scott Speedman) and Kirsten (Liv Tyler) return to a secluded house after a friend’s wedding reception in what was supposed to be a romantic get away, before Kristen turned down a marriage proposal from James. Instead of champagne and rose pedals, we get awkward silences and ugly bridesmaid dresses. After a stranger comes to the door and asks for someone who doesn’t live there, the torture begins. Through the next hour you’re treated to one of the dumbest sixty minutes of moviedom while each of the two main characters makes stupid decision after stupid decision. From the cliché cache we get, “There’s nothing out there”, the person who is there, but then is gone in a split second, the screaming at people asking “Why!”, and the more than brilliant, lets hang around and see what happens.

The movie has no point at all, aside from only having two central characters; we still get nothing to hold on to. Kristen is a chain smoking annoying woman who, like all scream queens, whines and screams a lot, and Speedman plays the everyman who has his heart broken, only to be rewarded with knife wounds to the chest (big surprise, he dies). When Kristen asks why the strangers are doing this, they reply “Because you were home.” Simply amazing, that fleeting line of dialog shuts the door on an unremarkable bore-fest that simply festers in the mind until it ends and receives applause only because the audience is free to leave.

The Strangers offers nothing unique to the genre what so ever, and aside from a few cheap scares has little to nothing going on for a near 90 minutes. You almost feel dumber as the movie wears on, knowing that if you stared in a horror film, it’d be about four minutes longer than it took you to find the shot gun, because you’d have gotten the hell out of Dodge.

Nineteen years of waiting, waiting for all the stars to align, waiting for a script to get approved, waiting for what seems like forever, and this is what we get: a huge resounding relief that the movie has finally been released followed by unbridled disappointment in the finished product. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull will no doubt go down as the biggest disappointment of the summer for many, this reviewer included, as the film loses most of, if not all, the fun of the original trilogy and what we are left with is a CGI mess with a weak story, weaker acting, no resounding villain, and the feeling that maybe we shouldn’t have hoped over the years for a fourth film, just like Star Wars fans today wish the prequel trilogy had never materialized.

The film was supposed to be foolproof, a script by David Koepp, approved by George Lucas (as much credit as that really is), directed by Steven Spielberg, and starring Indy himself, Harrison Ford. Unfortunately no matter of critical pedigree and talent was going to be able to save this film from the aspects which doomed it.

The setup is interesting, although drastically misleading as Indy and a group of communist era Soviets visit a very familiar looking warehouse with a giant “51” painted on the door. Here we think they are going for the Ark, only then do we find out what they are really after, and that’s where the wheels begin to fall off as the MacGuffin here just isn’t that interesting with so many more choices on the table. Everything from Atlantis to the Spear of Destiny was suggested by the review party who attended the screening only to be left with, well, to keep this as spoiler free as possible I won’t say, but you can put two and two together.

From here we are subjected to one outlandish display after another until the movie concludes with the biggest one of all. The origins of Indy are based in the radio and early TV serial dramas like Buck Rogers, so the outlandish has to be expected, but the suspension of disbelief only goes so far. One can explain away Indy hanging from a tank or being dragged behind a truck in the original trilogy, but we’ve now devolved into being propelled miles in a refrigerator (lined with lead) after a nuclear blast, or the ability for a teenager to swing like Tarzan to catch up to cars going 50 mph or faster? You almost have to laugh because it’s so bad at times.

The only thing that saves Kingdom is those involved and some okay scenes between the aging Indy (Harrison Ford) and Mutt (Shia LaBeouf). The inclusion of Karen Allen as Marion seems almost forced as she isn’t present in the first half of the movie and has little to do in the latter besides forcing some really bad dialog and giving us a groan inducing ending.

George Lucas’ CGI stained hands are all over this film, whereas traditionalists, and even just fans of the franchise would have liked to see the live action stunts, here a lot of the film is handled by computers, taking away some of the awe and fun of the original trilogy, when you knew that was a real person being dragged, or a real person fighting those battles.

In the end, everything combines into a merely mediocre package that is sure to disappoint anyone who holds a fond place in their heart for any of the original films. You can see sparks of enchantment once again throughout the two hour running time, but in the end, you really wish things had been much different, and maybe we shouldn’t have clamored as much, or as loud, for a new entry in the series.

The appropriately titled horror compilation, The Horror Vault, is a collection of nine short stories all relating to, in some way or another, the depravity of human nature and the psyche. This independent film, the first volume in a three volume series, really tries to enter the upper echelon of indie films with a focus on the tried and true stories that have worked in horror for nearly the last 100 years, but the film ends up tripping over itself with an overly ambitious reach, clunky dialog, and very inconsistent stories that range from mediocre to not-quite-there.

To be fair, one must realize the budget and technical availability of tools to create movies; this is considered in this review as one doesn’t expect Academy Award winning quality from a movie shot on a person’s free time and extra cash. Still after a quality year of independent cinema, The Horror Vault just isn’t able to grab your attention like it should.

When John Met Julia
A contemporary retelling of the Romeo and Juliet story, the short film almost tries too hard to tell the audience, this isn’t your normal film, and this isn’t your normal adaptation of a classic work. As the film progresses you’re left wondering what exactly is going on (a common theme throughout all nine films) until it ultimately ends with a final reveal that, in the spirit of the story makes some sense, but you’re more likely to be confused rather than awed. Wild inconsistencies and technical goofs (such as a car being turned off, then magically on again in the next scene) certainly break the audience away. While admirable camera placement and movement along with some stylized scene transitions give this piece a technical achievement missing from most of the other segments, the awkward, and sometimes just plain bad dialog really hampers any momentum this story has going for it.

Delusion
From the start this Hitchcockian throwback has a lot going for it visually speaking. The black & white noir style is a sharp contrast to the first film in the anthology and its costume and set pieces also work out well. The cinematography is probably the strongest of any of the nine segments, however, again, the story makes little to no sense, and while you can extrapolate the general gist of it from the characters’ dialog, the ending aims for a twist and really just leaves the audience throwing up their arms in frustration.

Alone
From the onset Alone is nearly unwatchable with the main character’s inner voice present for all to hear. Again, it isn’t the device, but the writing that hampers this aspect of the film. This extends into the generic, color by numbers story that has its ending seen from a mile away. Anyone who has seen the last generation of who-done-its like Scream and The Faculty will recognize the wolf in sheep’s clothing conclusion. Although one must wonder how a knife wound near no vital organs can instantly kill a man?

Dead to the World
A retelling of Ted Bundy’s exploits as told from an interview with a police officer inter-spliced with footage of Bundy committing his crimes. The streak of bad dialog continues here, and Bundy’s laughable monologue at the end to justify his actions is the culmination of this. The segment is filmed in what appears to be 4×3 and compressed and stretched to fit into a letterbox ratio giving the film a troubling perspective.

Mental Distortion
In the grand scheme of things Mental Distortion may not be intended to make much sense. The copious amounts of gratuitous nudity may be covering up for the lack of any cohesive story, but after a man finds his wife drowned in the bathtub he meets up with an old friend from grade school, hooks up, and, well the ending is left so ambiguous it’s up to you to decide. There is some nice camera work here, and the solemn lighting brings the audience into the story only so far, but the problems that plague most of the stories come up again here, bad dialog and an incoherent story, but the technical achievements again are negated by these

Disconnected
Probably the best of the bunch, Disconnected plays off its dark humor and Eli Roth’s Hostel series of needless, unrelenting violence for laughs and shock at the same time. A man is tortured because of money owed by his significant other. While I won’t reveal the ending for the sake of preserving one of the few surprises in the collection, it did garner a chuckle and high marks for its set design. Still, the writing could be a lot better, and the limited budget comes to light here where a man who has his hand disfigured merely hides it when the camera is on full body shots.

The Demon
A completely forgettable, dialog-less tale of a religious man meeting up with a relentless demon bent on destroying him. The film is all over the place, at one point making light of the man’s glasses breaking (perhaps attempting to channel a bit of The Twilight Zone?) yet it never plays into the story at all. The subtext of him picking up and later killing a hitchhiker is completely lost on the audience as he simply ends up in a mental institution with a set of crazy eyes to show for it. Again, the set pieces and some nice camera work are completely negated by lazy writing that isn’t able to intrigue or surprise the audience when they simply can’t figure out what’s going on.

Echoes
I had high hopes for this one as it first appears to be a man seeing the ghostly images of a war campaign, atrocities he had committed with the dead returning to haunt him, however, as the film progresses it turns out into be nothing more than a man in a mental home seeing things. While this, in of itself, is enough for the horror billing the story here doesn’t necessarily suffer from the same dialog problems as the other parts of the encompassing film, its simply too short to further develop the character. As it plays out now, it’s a man tied to a bed who is hallucinating, with a few more minutes and some back-story this could have easily been one of the better inclusions in this anthology.

Retina
There’s just no way to describe the ending of the anthology with this bookend. After viewing it I just simply stared at the TV, hoping, pleading that something would come up explaining what had just happened. It’s almost as if the most confusing parts of a Nine Inch Nails video, Silent Hill, and nihilistic crazy person had some unholy lovechild explode on to the screen. I don’t know if that’s a compliment or not, nor do I know anything that happened in this segment.

The love of filmmaking is obvious throughout The Horror Vault; however, whether it is from budgetary concerns, technical limitations, or some other problem, the end product falls short of expectations. While some will see the open-ended stories as a way for the viewer to make their own conclusions, there’s only so much our minds can do with the limited information available. Each story seems to sputter due to a mix of bad writing and inconsistency, something no amount of acting chops and technical achievement is going to be able to negate.

Judging independent movies so harshly is never easy because you can see the love of the craft hidden within each scene, however one can only hope these criticisms are taken into account to help better the writers, producers, actors, and directors in their next endeavors.

If you wish to experience the film for yourself and disagree with our review, it can be purchased right here, or find more information about the film at the official site.

With the history surrounding Speed Racer, and the craftsmanship employed by the Wachowski Brother’s one would expect the final product of a feature film version of the classic anime series to completely blow the audience away. However, at the end of the two-plus-hour-film all you are likely to remember is the remarkable race scenes and how you’re likely to skip over just about everything else when the film hits DVD later this summer.

Speed Racer is a kid’s film at its core with bright colors, ADD inspired action, a rather dull and mundane story to follow and enough sugary sweet fluff to over-bloat the film by 45 minutes. At a long in the tooth two hours and fifteen minutes most kids will find themselves bored in the second act just before the amazing racing scenes at the end of the film. There’s enough here to drag your interest along for the full runtime, but newcomers to the series might find themselves checking their watch every few minutes.

As stated before, the writing is sub par at best, catering to the children mentality the film is designed for, but whereas other “children’s” films like Pixar’s stable state and a majority of Dreamworks’ work have subtleties that only adults can pick up on, Racer is a straight shooter, never giving the older demographic anything to decode.

The casting is probably the strongest aspect of the film with the highlight being John Goodman as Pops Racer. Emile Hirsch as Speed Racer does an admirable job in the roll after his breakthrough in The Girl Next Door and dramatic turn in Alpha Dog. Matthew Fox (Racer X) also provides an admirable performance although he isn’t in the film for a good amount of time and fans of the series may be troubled as to the modifications to his origin from the original series, although the Wachowski’s wisely correct any creative freedoms they may have attempted before the film is over.

Overall there’s just too much going against the film for it to really breakout into a hit. Its story is too simplified for such a long running time, the seizure inducing visuals are pure eye candy, but lend no substance to the film, and aside from the races, there isn’t a whole lot to come back and see again, even packed with special features on the upcoming home release. Speed Racer is crafted for the fanboy and the newcomer, yet seems to disappoint both groups equally. While a sequel is not very likely, one can only hope a little more time and money is spent to keep the film interesting between the fabulous races.

Since Batman Begins debuted in 2005 the long standing belief that it was the best, and most faithful, superhero adaptation from comic to screen has been held by many. While Batman’s reboot is still one of the most faithful silver-screen portrayals ever, Jon Favreau’s Iron Man has superseded it as one of the best, if not the best comic to movie transition ever. Iron Man is simply spectacular, reaching heights not seen since Spider-Man 2 and accurately portraying all of the characters involved thanks to spot on casting, a tight script, and the unmatched abilities of star Robert Downey, Jr.

Iron Man, the story of the womanizing, boozing, and tinkering Tony Stark, leaves nothing on the pages of the comic that doesn’t transition here to the big screen. The way the film begins, Stark sitting in a Humvee, with what appears to be scotch on the rocks, and a charismatic, death-dealing personality who makes it almost impossible not to like him, even if his weapons are responsible for possibly hundreds of thousands of deaths.

His life-long ambition is changed when he’s held captive for three months, forced to build a missile of incredible power for a terrorist sect in Afghanistan. The rest of the film provides an origin backdrop for Iron Man and the growth of Tony Stark as someone seeking redemption for all the harm he’s caused in the world. Along with his personal assistant Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) and military-backed best friend James Rhodes (Terrence Howard), Stark as Iron Man begins to amaze us.

Really, the most amazing thing about Iron Man is two key elements, the acting of the pitch-perfect Robert Downey, Jr. and the direction of Iron Man fan Jon Favreau. As we saw with Spider-Man (not so much the giant mistake that was Spider-Man 3) a true fan is the best person to adapt a character to a new medium. Sam Raimi’s loving touch really brought Peter Parker to life in a way we’ve never seen before, and didn’t really see again until Christopher Nolan presented us with the excellent reboot of Batman. Favreau is quick with the film, never stopping for two hours, never reaching a lull for the audience to think too hard, but never speeding by important moments needed to further things along. The film does feel a bit rushed at times; the introduction, betrayal, and culmination of Stark’s right-hand-man Obadiah Stane (Jeff Bridges) into Iron Monger seems a bit forced, but only because this isn’t a Lord of the Rings sized adventure.

Downey embodies Stark and makes the audience like the character even when we know what he is, and alcoholic, WMD-crafting, one-night-stand infused genius who actually comes across as a good guy well before his capture and subsequent redemption. There’s an everyman quality to Stark absent from most superheroes because he’s weak both emotionally and physically. He lacks superpowers, and while his motives are good, they’re also selfish in nature as he’s cleaning up a mess he’s caused for decades. Still, you feel for Stark, the emotional rollercoaster that is his life is portrayed so well it’s a shame the Academy pretty much shames any superhero movie from any higher considerations as Downey’s performance is worthy two times over.

Iron Man equally caters to those unfamiliar with the character and those who grew up with him, watching him change, retconned into many iterations with the changing environment of our world. The insides jokes, surprise cameos (hint: stay after the credits), and excellent special effects from ILM coupled with everything said prior deliver probably the most well rounded comic book movie ever printed and an immediate joy to old and new fans alike. Iron Man is simply one of the best comic book movies ever made, and one of the best movies, in general, to come out this year.

The work of Judd Apatow will be celebrated when most of the world is long dead and gone. The man knows how to put good movies on the big screen whether or not he writes, directs, produces, it doesn’t seem to matter as everything his name graces turns to gold. Current darling Forgetting Sarah Marshall, written and starring long-time Apatow actor Jason Segel, ups the ante once again and further solidifies the formula for a guy’s romantic comedy, this one just so happens to be a relationship disaster of epic proportions.

Peter Bretter (Segel) is dating Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell) a hot, blonde TV starlet starring in one of the best lampoons of CSI: Miami ever put on film. After eating a mixing bowl full of Froot Loops, Sarah breaks the bad news to a heart-broken and naked Peter, she’s leaving him and his Dracula musical. Peter begins to break down after a not so successful pep talk with his step-brother (Bill Hader), and decides to take a vacation to Hawaii and get away from it all.

Once in Hawaii Peter meets Rachel (Mila Kunis) and accidentally bumps into Sarah and new boy-toy Aldous (Russell Brand) on holiday as well. As you can guess, the next 90 minutes are filled with well timed jokes, visual cues, awkward moments, and just about everything else you’d expect from an Apatow production including the touching moments as well.

While the storyline itself isn’t anything revolutionary or new, it’s a simple break up story, but there are so many layers to each of the characters that you actually feel bad for Peter to the point where, near the film’s climax, when he has the opportunity to get Sarah back, and acts on his wishes, the entire theater erupted in displeasure. That’s the kind of involvement director’s dream of, and first-time director Nicholas Stoller and Segel’s script really bring out the audience’s emotions.

Like Knocked Up and 40 Year Old Virgin, it’s the characters that really make this film what it is, the romantic connections do nothing if you don’t care for each person involved. Yet, the film also needs to be funny, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall will have you splitting many times throughout with some very memorable gags, and some great, unexpected lines that had me rolling, even when the rest of the audience had stopped laughing long ago. Many Apatow-alumni show up including Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill, and Segel himself being a veteran of Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared.

However nearly stealing the show is 30 Rock co-star Jack McBrayer as newlywed Darald who has to please his wife and consummate the relationship. A montage near the end of the second act, with him receiving advice from rocker Aldous, is hilarious beyond all bounds, and the results we’re treated to later didn’t leave a single person not laughing hysterically.

Much has been said about the film, whether it’s the full frontal male nudity, or the fact it seems to be the perfect romantic comedy geared for guys, Forgetting Sarah Marshall is easily the best film of 2008 so far and hopefully Oscar voters are paying attention and don’t forget to nominate the little guy.